The blues is a phenomenal scope to look through. To see through paranormal vision, my my, my mind has been covered. The slow significant intrusion, a thick grease that cakes onto my neurotransmitters causing the world to slow down to a dragging nag. Everything fades and the smooth blow of wind enters the room I’m staying in. Like the steps taken down to a warm basement with only a chair and blanket to settle down into I have found an un-comforting comfort here. I have found myself in the blank minded stare. Worrisome shakes and the placement of my fingers on a wet sanded guitar neck. it’s not that I am hopeless, because that would describe me as faithless… it’s just that the world has a sweet way of slipping me into a sickening carelessness. The doors of perception widen from the narrow road and my eyes witness all the things missing. The Lord has lifted me out of such darkness before and I believe he will do it again. It’s just one brick being laid down on this road at a time, a double shot of mortar to keep me grounded in him. Because there’s a twister circling round and round, the smooth blow of wind and turned into a tempest and everything inside me is turned into a stye. Demolished with the blink of an eye.
The golden light shines all around, there’s so much blessing pouring down for me to be like this. To live like this. But it’s there and I’m malcontent. I want to walk into the unseen and shoot down the burning door to rescue myself, but I can’t. It’s not my duty and I am not my own savior. So I’ll sit patiently and enjoy the wonder and majesty. His words written in to carry on.
In all the drops of blood upon the black tile flooring I’m still breathing, I am still living. I truly believe because of the bread of life, not the bread of this world I have kept moving forward. Because if I am sinking as low as I have seen myself go before. It will take a miracle and time to crawl out.
The times of pain, stretching and bleeding are where you get to know someone the best. To know their reactions, their words linger in the back of your head like a record that quietly plays in the empty room next door. You know your significant other as yourself when the two are brought into times of reliance not only on each other, but the creator. You know God not by the things that he gives you, but the ways that he has saved you. The ways that he reaches out and grabs your hand as the flesh of your finger tips is being scraped away by the mountains edge you are clinging to. I am clinging to what I know, what has pulled me out from the burning furnace in the past. Circumstance has not caused this, because my circumstances are what most would kill for. Living in Hawaii, experiencing new days of reconciliation with God and his creation. A wonderful companion to take life on with, who uplifts my spirits when my mind is racing and soul wants to decline into the pit. This chapter of life is quite unknown, but it’s one of the greatest chapters I’ve lived. Endless adventures and living love.
It’s not that I am sinking, or drowning, it’s that limits are being pushed and the G-forces are pressing down in such a manner that sometimes the black comes into attack.
This time we defy gravity and fly.
Onward and upward to new horizons…
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
-Psalms 55:22
– ArrowAhead