The last weekend consisted of a spontaneous adventure to Makalawena, a secluded beach Kona side. It’s access is mostly available only by 4×4 vehicles but completely worth it. Leaving late in the afternoon caused us to arrive at our destination quite late, finally arriving at the campground around 9:00 PM. The campground overlooked a bay that was completely illuminated by the full moon. The quiet dreams brought forth by the calming waves whispered into my ears throughout the night. Unfortunately the campground was very rocky and exploration was still to be had despite the late evening. A soft white sand beach about half a mile down trail greeted the crew. I had the guitar on hand and stayed up until midnight strumming away. The warm sea water clothed my feet on and off as I sat on a large uprooted tree. Lonesome times to talk with God and seek out answers and help.
One of my greatest struggles lately has been dealing with bitter sadness. Roots of which began to grow sometime ago due to circumstances and fallen, or perhaps delayed dreams? It’s very interesting to experience an unfamiliar range of emotions, passiveness towards people, with an aim to stare them in the eye and sigh. The struggle to really care : not only be there, but to hold on and fight. It seems as if everyday has been a fight from the moment my eyes open. A fight to consciously decide that I am still for Jesus and actively pursuing Him. A fight to say no to the nagging pull to stay in the safe position of laziness. The battle is already won though. Day in and day out the victory is there not because of my own strength or mind set, but because Jesus is fighting for me. Fighting for the ones he loves.
On this night with the ocean glowing blue the silence surrounds me every waking move. Every strum and thought was an orchestra of crying out. In this moment everything inside wants to give in and lay my body into the sea to forget my problems, forget my sin and forget the racing mindset. But then an overwhelming calm comes over me and the questions of solace revise the wrong doing opinions about myself. Friday night is slowly peaking into Saturday morning, my eyes grow heavier and heavier, soon I walk through the cool white sand to my sleeping bag next to a log and call it good night.
Saturday Morning : My eyes open before the sunrise and everyone else. Annika and her house mate lay down aways on the beach still asleep. So I pick up my guitar to go sit by the waters edge once again. My contemplative state is heightened and begin to question everything once again. From faith to the reasoning behind being in Hawaii. The questions that were being asked in my head were both heavy and uplifting at the same time, because with every doubt came reassurance from my experience and walk with God. Testimonies are powerful, witnessing God’s grace and mercy, his intervention on your life is the crossroad that can lead you back to truth. The reminder of where you came from to why you are living out your life the way you are. My testimony reminds me of the dark life that was left behind to live for the King. That my hope doesn’t belong in work, people, or pleasures of this world, but that of the Glory to the King.
The frustration of life was still lingering, but my hope was reassured.
A few hours later the crew was up and about. Fishing, walking the beach, gazing out over the ocean. We were all taking on individual tasks and trying to make the most of the trip. Some things led Annika and I to go for a walk across the long white beach. The wind was howling and turquoise blue waves began to build up. Sand dunes grasped our attention, green vines grew all around and over the berm a dozen goats roamed freely. I watched for a solid half hour. They simply lived. Eating and roaming. Why can’t we live like that?
The sand blew across my face, grains stuck to my salt stained hair and I gazed vacantly about the scenes. Rays of light crept through the clouds over hanging mountains and ageless lava rock. I’m curious as to what else will be learned in the near future. How will love evolve in my heart, closer to the way Jesus had shown or further apart? Do I grasp the things I used to hold?
Breakfast was a plate of oatmeal and rice milk, quickly gobbled down. I found a resting place on the tailgate of the Toyota 4Runner, sitting watching the ocean swells sweep round and round. My guitar in hands I begin to play again, like an old friend that’s been kindly neglected. Most of the early afternoon is spent simply being still. Listening to waves, conversations and pondering all the information coming at me. Silver, yellow and red fish gather in the shallow areas. Refracting light dances off their scales with color that blends into the blues. Being still really sets in perspective the amount of self control you have. Stillness of mind and body help to focus your thought, but most of all brings the realization of exactly how controlled you are. An inflatable kayak was brought along and we all really enjoyed sharing the vessel. From one beach to another we travelled back and forth, soon to take a decent amount of time to nap and sunbathe. Annika and I take the kayak out for one last voyage back to the camping spot. We watch the sunset reflect off the dark ocean top with no noise but the licking waves moving about all our surroundings.
For dinner we eat fresh fish that Tom caught. Another night on the sandy beach leads to staying up late for the full moon. Walking across the beach I take several long exposures. Having forgotten my tripod the gift of improvisation kicks in and I use the natural environment as a stand, a few rubber bands and a rock as a shutter hold. (Since my shutter remote had stopped working a while back.)
Teaching Annika photography has been a great blessing in my life, sharing the obtainde talents and knowledge. She takes hold too the camera and begins instructing me on where to stand, how to pose, then hits the shutter based on what I’ve taught her.
Early morning we left quickly and headed back to the heart of Hilo. Another grand adventure on the island of Hawaii.
